READ PART III of "Penny S. Cilpen's Birthday Is One For The Books"
ALTERNATE JAKE CONVERSATION:
“Jake you were going to forget my birthday this year, and I
feel like we are growing apart. I’m very sorry I tried to force you and Ally
and Gouda to surprise me. By the way, my favorite cake is tiramisu.”
“OH! That was it. I know it started with a T.”
“Jake I’m just a little confused. I thought you were going
to forget it was my birthday.”
“Why? I never forget, and I forget pretty much everything.”
“I just felt it coming on.”
“How?”
“It was like two weeks and I didn’t hear anything and…”
“So—you feared us forgetting your birthday?”
“Wow. Feared. I don’t know about feared.”
“You feared it.”
“I was afraid you guys were going to forget.”
“And what does that mean, us ‘forgetting?’”
“That for one, it’s not a priority, and two, you don’t really care as much as you could, and three, that we’re moving apart.”
“Hmm. And how are we moving apart?”
“Well, we’re growing up. You’re about to do some traveling, Gouda’s got his own business, Allison is going to grad…”
“Why? I never forget, and I forget pretty much everything.”
“I just felt it coming on.”
“How?”
“It was like two weeks and I didn’t hear anything and…”
“So—you feared us forgetting your birthday?”
“Wow. Feared. I don’t know about feared.”
“You feared it.”
“I was afraid you guys were going to forget.”
“And what does that mean, us ‘forgetting?’”
“That for one, it’s not a priority, and two, you don’t really care as much as you could, and three, that we’re moving apart.”
“Hmm. And how are we moving apart?”
“Well, we’re growing up. You’re about to do some traveling, Gouda’s got his own business, Allison is going to grad…”
“And how are you changing?”
“I got a new job.”
“I’m not a rocket scientist, but all the changes with us have been happening for a while. Your change happened this year—you’re changing more than all of us.”
“I got a new job.”
“I’m not a rocket scientist, but all the changes with us have been happening for a while. Your change happened this year—you’re changing more than all of us.”
“So, Rocko what are you saying? Are you saying this is my
fault?”
“I’m saying look at how you’re looking at it. That’s all.”
“I’m saying look at how you’re looking at it. That’s all.”
“Listen, I feel as though birthdays are special to me. And I
can’t convince you why. I’d just think you’d honor that and show me you respect
it. It’s like my thing.”
“Yeah, your thing. We all have different things.”
“Really, like what, what’s your thing? Like what’s your “thing” with me.”
“Really, like what, what’s your thing? Like what’s your “thing” with me.”
“Hmm—Well one of my things, here’s one. I hate when you walk
behind me.”
“That’s weird.”
“If I’m talking to you, you shouldn’t be walking behind me,
it’s disrespectful. We should be walking side by side.”
“What?”
“Yeah. I said it! And another thing that drives me up a wall is when I start opening up to you and then you get a call and you just “have” to take it. I feel like you have stomped on my ego.”
“Yeah. I said it! And another thing that drives me up a wall is when I start opening up to you and then you get a call and you just “have” to take it. I feel like you have stomped on my ego.”
“Whoa.”
“Yeah that’s my thing. Do you have a call?”
“My phones on silent Jake. Dang!”
“No that’s just my thing. Everyone has one.”
“So now knowing that, if I didn’t cater to your thing, how would you feel?”
“Well, you see Penny, it depends. I know I’m valid but I also know I’m biased. I can’t expect you to satisfy my feelings all the time, especially when that’s my issue.”
“My phones on silent Jake. Dang!”
“No that’s just my thing. Everyone has one.”
“So now knowing that, if I didn’t cater to your thing, how would you feel?”
“Well, you see Penny, it depends. I know I’m valid but I also know I’m biased. I can’t expect you to satisfy my feelings all the time, especially when that’s my issue.”
“So suppose I didn’t satisfy your feelings at all, like
showed a blatant disregard, would you feel…”
“Some type of way. To tell you the truth, yes, but again, Penny, it’s really all how you look at it.”
“Some type of way. To tell you the truth, yes, but again, Penny, it’s really all how you look at it.”
“For real, Jake, that’s bull. Perception is very tricky.
There’s a thin line between apathy and perceptive caring. There’s a point in
which someone does not respect your vulnerable areas to the point of neglect.”
“Yes, but there’s balance in everything. I’m not here to
stomp on your weakness, but I’m also not here to feed it.”
“So when you first heard of me wanting you to plan
something, was the want even valid to you?”
“I don’t count, Penny, but no, it wasn’t.”
“How could you say that?”
“Girls always ask me for my opinion and then when I give it to them…”
“Ok Jake, I’m going to breathe. I can take it on. Speak.”
“When’s the last time you celebrated your birthday?”
“Like 3 weeks ago.”
“Buzz. Wrong. When’s the last time you celebrated your birthday?”
“Is this a trick question? Three weeks ago. If you do not remember I can recall it for you. I called you and asked you…”
“Penny. Look at me.”
“What?”
“Are you looking at me?”
“I don’t count, Penny, but no, it wasn’t.”
“How could you say that?”
“Girls always ask me for my opinion and then when I give it to them…”
“Ok Jake, I’m going to breathe. I can take it on. Speak.”
“When’s the last time you celebrated your birthday?”
“Like 3 weeks ago.”
“Buzz. Wrong. When’s the last time you celebrated your birthday?”
“Is this a trick question? Three weeks ago. If you do not remember I can recall it for you. I called you and asked you…”
“Penny. Look at me.”
“What?”
“Are you looking at me?”
“Yes. Do you have your contacts on?”
“Look me in the eye and tell me when the last time you celebrated your birthday was.”
“The question, if I dare repeat it, is when…was the last time I celebrated my birthday. You mean me?”
“Yes.”
“You mean…”
“You actually celebrating your own birthday.”
“I celebrated it with other people.”
“What have you given yourself in the past 18 years?”
“Nothing.”
“There.”
“So?”
“You should try to give something to yourself. Stop looking at us. You want our love—you want our appreciation. Number one- we always have given that to you from the get, and always will, but number 2, it starts with you. And on the other hand, I just don’t understand birthdays. Birthdays are full of vanity. Everyone thinks they are the princess and the king on their birthday. Everyone bow down to me, kiss my mother-fricking crown.. The birthday-zilla. I don’t see you as that self-absorbed. That’s why I can’t understand why birthdays are your thing.”
“Look me in the eye and tell me when the last time you celebrated your birthday was.”
“The question, if I dare repeat it, is when…was the last time I celebrated my birthday. You mean me?”
“Yes.”
“You mean…”
“You actually celebrating your own birthday.”
“I celebrated it with other people.”
“What have you given yourself in the past 18 years?”
“Nothing.”
“There.”
“So?”
“You should try to give something to yourself. Stop looking at us. You want our love—you want our appreciation. Number one- we always have given that to you from the get, and always will, but number 2, it starts with you. And on the other hand, I just don’t understand birthdays. Birthdays are full of vanity. Everyone thinks they are the princess and the king on their birthday. Everyone bow down to me, kiss my mother-fricking crown.. The birthday-zilla. I don’t see you as that self-absorbed. That’s why I can’t understand why birthdays are your thing.”
“Wait a sec Jake. Hold up.”
“Go.”
“You went to Chucks birthday fiesta this summer, and not to
mention Tino’s toga birthday party last month. How are you telling me you think
it’s vain and you go?”
“Sidenote—Tino is a birthday zilla. He made all of us draw
straws to see who would serve him breakfast in bed because we lost a sports bet
to him, and I got the shortest straw, so I had to do it. And he was wearing a
crown the whole time.”
“Haha. So you cooked him breakfast?”
“No I ordered it, hid the packaging in my bookbag, put it on a tray and there you have it.”
“I thought you could cook!”
“I can but he likes his bacon a certain way, I was just like forget that mess. But anyway I have fun there, at the birthdays and stuff, but I know it’s vain. It’s like a movie to me. I really feel like life is a movie. And people love movies and try to recreate them. And I get it, but I see past it.”
“So this is a watery opinion you have.”
“Hear me out.
“Haha. So you cooked him breakfast?”
“No I ordered it, hid the packaging in my bookbag, put it on a tray and there you have it.”
“I thought you could cook!”
“I can but he likes his bacon a certain way, I was just like forget that mess. But anyway I have fun there, at the birthdays and stuff, but I know it’s vain. It’s like a movie to me. I really feel like life is a movie. And people love movies and try to recreate them. And I get it, but I see past it.”
“So this is a watery opinion you have.”
“Hear me out.
Everything you see about birthdays and galas of friends is media oriented. Tell me the last time you celebrated the birthday of
someone who never had a birthday. Or gave back? And when was the last time a
movie directed at teens with a birthday scene became famous for a “small get
together?” People put out images that they feel would be ideal to the general
public. It’s not exactly real.
Instead of looking without, consider lookin within. I say do
that for just one year, and see how people will flock to you to shower you with
love. The love you already have. The love you wouldn’t have to look for. In
addition to that, I just feel as though if you didn’t care so much about it, or
want it so much, it would find its way to you. Like something you have that you
never put a desperate energy to having that I want is the ability to meet
anyone I want. You, Penny, can just make a phone call and people just answer
you. I want to meet the ever gorgeous Pamela Anderson. That’s not just within
my reach. I want it so much, but it comes at ease to you. A part of it is also
because you’re not so attached to that.”
“It gets to the point in which it looks like I’m taking it for granted.”
“Well....”
“It gets to the point in which it looks like I’m taking it for granted.”
“Well....”
“Ok Jake, that’s all I can take.”
“Okay. I’m not pressuring you to not be you; I just wanted you to challenge yourself to look at it differently. I don’t like seeing you suffer. I don’t mean to sound like a pain in the ass.”
“Okay. I’m not pressuring you to not be you; I just wanted you to challenge yourself to look at it differently. I don’t like seeing you suffer. I don’t mean to sound like a pain in the ass.”
“Wait…”
“Sup?”
“I am very grateful for you. Thanks.”
“I didn’t do anything, but your welcome. Pizza tomorrow at 3?”
“Sup?”
“I am very grateful for you. Thanks.”
“I didn’t do anything, but your welcome. Pizza tomorrow at 3?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Me neither.”
--GB
“Me neither.”
--GB
