Before I really started Magamen Music in the fall, I had to come into the office three times a week in the summer, two full days and a half-day, to learn the ropes. I made friends with this really cool witty writer girl from San Francisco. Originally from NY, her writing was full of quips and giggles, and she was the ultimate peanut gallery for the office and all of its happenings. Her name was Gerrin.
Gerrin and I were having a conversation about how my
birthday could have been better, and how I wanted to make it up to me, for
me—and what could I do to blow this 18th birthday out the water once more.
“Well, maybe you should have another party,” she suggested.
“Hmm, another party. I’m not big at planning the big stuff.
Who should I invite, everyone in the company?”
“Well, this is the thing that I’ve seen with the independent
group parties before. Let’s say it was a group dinner. Everyone orders what
they want and then when the bill comes, they split it evenly, and it becomes a
big issue sometimes with some of the interns who don’t have any….”
“Why don’t they just do separate bills then?”
“Maybe you should have a more intimate setting, pick a few
people that you would like to get to know more, and go out and do something
fun.”
“Like a focus group?”
“Like a focus group.”
“Like a focus group?”
“Like a focus group.”
“Maybe I’ll do that. You’d be there, right?”
“Of course I would!”
“Of course I would!”
So maybe this birthday isn’t such a bust after all.
I got some good responses, so I got ready to go ice-skating
that Friday.
Okay, when I mean good responses, I mean, semi-good
responses. 5/10. But I set out to go anyway.
It was four hours before I was set to go and I was getting
ready in my room. That is when I received this text—“Sorry Penny, I can’t make
it out tonight. Have fun.”
One down, 3 to go.
Then I got another text. “Penny, I’m so sorry, my cousin who
was supposed to drive me, her car broke down. I won’t be able to make it,
sorry.”
So now I got this horrible overcompensating feeling that I
shouldn’t go. But I didn’t listen to it. I thought, hey, if one person shows
up, then I guess that would be okay.
I get on the bus to go over to this place; it was on the
other side of town. When I got there, the next person cancelled over text. That
means I had one person left. Or two. Where’s Gerrin? I texted her and didn’t
hear anything from her at all.
At this point, I was a little apprehensive, so I called the
last woman standing, (we’ll dub her “the last Mohican…”) to see if she’d come.
“Hey Penny what’s up? I’m getting ready…”
“Problems Nikki, just problems.”
“Why what’s wrong?”
“Everyone cancelled on me but you.”
“Oh no. What the hell?”
“Yeah certain people like to cancel, really, at the last possible minute. They left no minute in front of them. Like, last possible minute.”
“Last minute. That sucks. Well, you still want me to come out?”
“Yeah definitely. I’m already out here, so…”
“Yeah certain people like to cancel, really, at the last possible minute. They left no minute in front of them. Like, last possible minute.”
“Last minute. That sucks. Well, you still want me to come out?”
“Yeah definitely. I’m already out here, so…”
“Ok I’m getting ready. I’ll text you when I get off the
freeway.”
“Great. Talk to you soon.”
“Ok.”
“Great. Talk to you soon.”
“Ok.”
I’m fighting back tears and am a little bit on edge. So I go
to the store at the corner to get myself a snack. As I was walking back, a
short pudgy guy with black hair (don’t know what was more round, his bald
shaped head or his tummy), comes up behind me and says in a scruffy voice, “Got
a quarter?”
“Sorry, dude. No luck.”
“I know you got a quarter in that big bag of yours.” As he
says “big bag,” he hits it with his hand.
“You don’t want to start with me right now dude. Now is not
the time dude.”
“Why, what are you going to do?” He edges closer. “Huh?
Little girl, what are you going to do? You think you’re the boss of me?”
So, I looked him straight in the eye and opened my mouth and
screamed at the very top of my lungs.
He received it, was taken aback, and started walking
backward. He bumped into two people as he was walking backward, and he turned
around and ran away.
I then got a text from Nikki who asked me if I was sure I still
wanted to go. Uh, you’re en route right? Are you sure you want to come, or are
you trying to get the go to turn back? Is how I took that one.
I wrote back, “YES. Get here.”
She got there a few minutes later, and I had a complete
horrible time. I fought to be happy while drinking a milkshake, and we fake
twirled to the sounds of Black Eyed Peas "Where Is The Love" song.
I stood there sipping along the lines of an ongoing birthday
party, not noticing how much of a stalker I was for the experience. The
“prince” of the party, the birthday girls boyfriend, came up to me and said,
“I’m not sure exactly who invited you, but your in our party and your in my
girls' eyesight, and….you’re just gonna have to move.”
I retorted, “Is this better?” and moved a little closer to
the middle of things, before smiling at him and turning around, but not before
he slipped his foot in his mouth.
“Wait!”
“You told me to leave. What do you need?”
He slipped a piece of paper in my pocket.
“Call me,” he mouthed with his hand to his ear.
“You told me to leave. What do you need?”
He slipped a piece of paper in my pocket.
“Call me,” he mouthed with his hand to his ear.
“Are. You. F--….”
“Penny!” Nikki grabbed my arm. “Lets go.”
Call me dumb, because my last name is founded.
So my big bash turned out to be me and Nikki, someone I
really didn’t know well at all. And needless to say, we tried.
I told Nikki what happened with that quarter guy, and the
dude that tried to cheat on his girl at her birthday party, and how I felt
about my little internish pals leaving me as food to the wolves out here, but I
couldn’t open up to her the way I felt I needed to. I got home and dreaded
going to work after the weekend was over.
It was Thursday, and yeah I went to work on Monday. Didn’t
really want to talk about it. Tuesday was another day I didn’t want to talk
about it. People who canceled on me were trying to talk to me, and I wasn’t
having it. Until Gerrin came up to me and said something that opened up a
wound.
Well the first thing she tried to do was apologize, and I
wouldn’t let her.
“Penny, Penny, Penny, wait up!”
Silence.
Silence.
“Penny, I just want to apologize for what happened Thursday night, I was asleep.”
“Gerrin, I am sorry, that is not an adequate excuse for me.”
“I’m sorry—I was exhausted, I closed my eyes and before I
knew it, it was 1AM.”
“Gerrin, if you wanted to show up, you would have made it, or at least told me you couldn’t have come.”
“Well, Penny, I want to let you know that doesn’t always make sense. And you can’t just expect me or anyone else to go by all the rules you go by.”
“Gerrin, if you wanted to show up, you would have made it, or at least told me you couldn’t have come.”
“Well, Penny, I want to let you know that doesn’t always make sense. And you can’t just expect me or anyone else to go by all the rules you go by.”
“Wow so I guess everyone’s alternate lifestyles have come to
smack me in the face today. Thank you, Gerrin.” I walked away.
It’s been two days, and Gerrin has followed me like a spy,
trying to see if there was an in. Would I look at her sideways? Would I catch
her at the copy machines? Send energy her way? Bump into each other at lunch
breaks? Would I have to inadvertently address her at a meeting? Two days later,
Gerrin couldn’t take it anymore, which was funny, cuz I could have done it for
a longer time than that.
Gerrin walked up to me and said,
“You know, you don’t have to go around trying to make all of us feel bad for what we did to you. It was a mistake, and you act like I killed your dog or something. Things happen, I fell asleep.”
“You know, you don’t have to go around trying to make all of us feel bad for what we did to you. It was a mistake, and you act like I killed your dog or something. Things happen, I fell asleep.”
“If you wanted to go, you would have woke up and you would
have went.”
“I don’t know why you are so wrapped up in it. I’m still not
sure what I actually did to you.”
“You weren’t there, I was waiting around for forever and
some drunk pseudo-waif tried to attack me.”
“Well. Wow, you know, at first I felt so sorry that I didn’t go, but now, just hearing that, I feel sorry for you.”
“Well. Wow, you know, at first I felt so sorry that I didn’t go, but now, just hearing that, I feel sorry for you.”
“You know what Gerrin?”
“No, you know what, sweetie? You may want to consider that other human beings have more important things to do than to go to your birthday. I’m seriously not thinking about your birthday as much as I am thinking about that stack of mail that isn’t done sitting on the office table, or that I have a presentation due at noon. Maybe you need to realize that the only person that cares about your small birthday bash, is you.”
“No, you know what, sweetie? You may want to consider that other human beings have more important things to do than to go to your birthday. I’m seriously not thinking about your birthday as much as I am thinking about that stack of mail that isn’t done sitting on the office table, or that I have a presentation due at noon. Maybe you need to realize that the only person that cares about your small birthday bash, is you.”
Wow.
Before I had a chance to answer, my boss Ronald came in, a bit jolly.
“Penny, nice work on that 10 Pop Artists That Will Change The World”
presentation. Sometimes I wonder, how do
you find these people?
Me, you and Gerrin need to have lunch to manage those
artists on our pages, pronto. How’s today at 1? We’ll have some chicken soup!”
Gerrin said, “I’d love to see you at lunch, Penny.”
I gathered my folders and said, “Ok Gerrin, I’ll set your
alarm clock for you.” And walked away.
Needless to say she’s no longer a friend in my head.
I called Hef when I got home from work to see what was going
on with him, and he invited me out for some pizza because his friend owns a store.
“So your birthday was a week ago and you didn’t invite me to it?”
“So your birthday was a week ago and you didn’t invite me to it?”
“Sorry Hef, I didn’t plan it. And the second one I just
invited work ppl.”
“I don’t know Penny, it seems like you’re looking for
something, what are you looking for?”
“Hef, what would make you want to go to someone’s birthday party? I mean, you had one up in Cabo, like 12 people went. What do you think made them want to go?”
“We’ll first off, I’m amazing? Secondly, you counted? I really don’t know, Penny. For me I think one thing is how well you know the person, and another part of it is who else is going. Will you have fun with the other people that are going—Is that your type of people? Where is it at? It its something that all of the people invited enjoy doing on a regular basis—And then, about the birthday person themselves.”
“Hef, what would make you want to go to someone’s birthday party? I mean, you had one up in Cabo, like 12 people went. What do you think made them want to go?”
“We’ll first off, I’m amazing? Secondly, you counted? I really don’t know, Penny. For me I think one thing is how well you know the person, and another part of it is who else is going. Will you have fun with the other people that are going—Is that your type of people? Where is it at? It its something that all of the people invited enjoy doing on a regular basis—And then, about the birthday person themselves.”
“First off, I didn’t consider that.”
“Well, with the work thing, what is it that you wanted?”
“I think I just wanted a big bash were a bunch of people were there celebrating, and my friends want some intimate crap. We have our whole lives to be intimate.”
“No not really, in my opinion, first off, people grow apart, you don’t know if you’ll have the same friends in your teens that you do in your twenties, and so on. Secondly, these bunch of people, like, where did you see this that you wanted it?”
“I don’t know, I saw you do it, you went to Cabo, I see people have big bashes all the time.”
“With 100 of their closest friends right?”
“Ok Hef, I get it, there’s no such thing as '100 closest friends.' How do I know my friends actually care about my birthday though?”
“Well, with the work thing, what is it that you wanted?”
“I think I just wanted a big bash were a bunch of people were there celebrating, and my friends want some intimate crap. We have our whole lives to be intimate.”
“No not really, in my opinion, first off, people grow apart, you don’t know if you’ll have the same friends in your teens that you do in your twenties, and so on. Secondly, these bunch of people, like, where did you see this that you wanted it?”
“I don’t know, I saw you do it, you went to Cabo, I see people have big bashes all the time.”
“With 100 of their closest friends right?”
“Ok Hef, I get it, there’s no such thing as '100 closest friends.' How do I know my friends actually care about my birthday though?”
“You mean, do they care about you. And they do, but your
birthday may not be on their forefront.”
“Everyone has their own views on what friendship is. To me,
my birthday is one of the things that is very important to me. MY 18th!!!! It
should be something to remember.”
“Depending on who you compare yourself to. Like your friends. They work. When I see them, I see work, not party. They do party, but not with you. So expecting them to have a party with you is kind of off. Maybe you’re just not their party friend.”
“Dang, Hef! So lets have a friggin book club how bout that?!?!
“Depending on who you compare yourself to. Like your friends. They work. When I see them, I see work, not party. They do party, but not with you. So expecting them to have a party with you is kind of off. Maybe you’re just not their party friend.”
“Dang, Hef! So lets have a friggin book club how bout that?!?!
“HAHAHA. I’d go. I’ve never exactly seen you as a complete
extrovert anyway.”
“What? I’m so extrovert I am completely out there, Hef, ok?”
Hef laughs.
“I kind of get it. I did find myself comparing myself to
other people—but does that mean my friends still care about me though? They
were going to forget.”
“Maybe you fear your moving apart- and if that’s what you
feel, address that.”
It's Friday afternoon, and I called Jake. It rang 5 times and then I heard someone pick
up, but there was silence.
So I shouted “JAKE!!!!”
Jake was taken aback. “Wow, Ok.”
“Jake tell me the truth.”
“Yes Penny.”
“Do you like me?”
“Is this a yes or no question?”
“Are we friends. Like really. Are we friends?”
“Yes. I think so. Last time I checked. Why?”
“Jake, answer my question first and then we’ll address that. Am I your read a book friend, the boring friend? Am I the friend for the coffee shop, am I the anti-club friend? Do I wear glasses in your eyes? Should I be a librarian? Like, when you see me, do you see anything but party? Am I in the corner, loning it out with a bagel and some chai tea? Like, …”
“Excuse me sir, can you move one seat over, you’re blocking the solar light to my Mac!”
“No joke, though. I need to hear the truth from you, I’m outside.”
“What? I’m in my…nevermind. I’m coming down in a minute.”
“Yes Penny.”
“Do you like me?”
“Is this a yes or no question?”
“Are we friends. Like really. Are we friends?”
“Yes. I think so. Last time I checked. Why?”
“Jake, answer my question first and then we’ll address that. Am I your read a book friend, the boring friend? Am I the friend for the coffee shop, am I the anti-club friend? Do I wear glasses in your eyes? Should I be a librarian? Like, when you see me, do you see anything but party? Am I in the corner, loning it out with a bagel and some chai tea? Like, …”
“Excuse me sir, can you move one seat over, you’re blocking the solar light to my Mac!”
“No joke, though. I need to hear the truth from you, I’m outside.”
“What? I’m in my…nevermind. I’m coming down in a minute.”
Jake opens the door and I’m standing outside on a cloudy
day, it’s two seconds from raining.
“Come in.”
“Jake, I’m having a big issue.” I plop down on the couch. “I
don’t know what type of friend I am to you.”
“You’re my friend. My best friend. And no, I’m not going to
go to a rave with you. No EDC. I’m also not going to sit and read books with
you. You’re not boring.”
“So why when I ask for a bash it’s like alien to everyone? Why is that alien, that I could have a bash!”
“So why when I ask for a bash it’s like alien to everyone? Why is that alien, that I could have a bash!”
“Well first off, you’ve never had one before. Secondly, you
bash people who have bashes on a regular basis, how they don’t really have that
many real friends, and you don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you do pretty much
everything you are supposed to do. And you play it real safe. You don’t really
like being around people who really party much.”
“Oh. But I want to have fun too Jake, I want to party too
Jake.”
“Yeah but you’re not 21, yet. It’s …just not the same.”
“Yeah but you’re not 21, yet. It’s …just not the same.”
“So how am I fun at all?”
“You’re hilarious. Everything you say is a one-liner. You
mentally keep me on my toes. I like talking to you. You make me think. Ever
since we were younger we would dream together. I don’t do that with other people
much at all.” He pauses. “I have different friends for different things. I
could take you to a real party, but you might not like it. Besides, that’s not
exactly what I love doing either. But if that’s what you want to do.”
“I want to be fun.”
“You are fun.”
“I want to be fun.”
“You are fun.”
“Jake you were going to forget my birthday this year, and I
feel like we are growing apart. I’m very sorry I tried to force you and Ally
and Gouda to surprise me. By the way, my favorite cake is tiramisu.”
“OH! That was it. I know it started with a T.”
“Oh my god, you may be getting alopecia.”
“WHAT?”
“Nothing. Inside joke.”
“I get what your saying. I’m busy. Gouda’s getting money. Ally’s going to grad. We’re growing up.”
“WHAT?”
“Nothing. Inside joke.”
“I get what your saying. I’m busy. Gouda’s getting money. Ally’s going to grad. We’re growing up.”
“It’s scary. I don’t know when I will see you guys next. I
know you’re around, but Ally and Gouda, I don’t know. I also felt like because
you didn’t honor my birthday the way I wanted you to that you didn’t care about
me.”
“I do think we needed a reminder. But not to care about just you. To care about us. But you too. You needed a reminder too. You’re busy too. That was a good sideways effort though to get us together.”
“I do think we needed a reminder. But not to care about just you. To care about us. But you too. You needed a reminder too. You’re busy too. That was a good sideways effort though to get us together.”
“Supposing you guys did forget my birthday. Then what?”
“What? Impossible--no one puts Baby in the corner.”
“What? Impossible--no one puts Baby in the corner.”
“Wow, how sweet.”
“No really. Besides, we’re not like that. We all love you.”
“What?”
“Gouda loves you, Allison loves you, and I love you too.”
“Gouda loves you, Allison loves you, and I love you too.”
“And,” he continued,
“If it took your birthday to get us together like we used to rock, then maybe
all that crazy stuff that happened to you was a blessing in disguise.”
“You don’t know what happened though. Some man who asked me for a quarter almost tried to attack me.”
“You don’t know what happened though. Some man who asked me for a quarter almost tried to attack me.”
“Ah so he didn’t succeed then I guess.” Jake pokes me in the
shoulder.
“Well, no.”
“Did you kick him?”
“No.”
“Aw, next time I'll gladly take that job. Penny, you’re allowed to kick people trying to attack you in self defense you know.”
“HAHAHA Jake, I wish you were there. It was horrible…” but as I started to repeat the story, I stopped.
“Well, no.”
“Did you kick him?”
“No.”
“Aw, next time I'll gladly take that job. Penny, you’re allowed to kick people trying to attack you in self defense you know.”
“HAHAHA Jake, I wish you were there. It was horrible…” but as I started to repeat the story, I stopped.
“Let me see that movie you’ve been working on.”
Stay tuned for the last installment of "Penny S. Cilpen's Birthday Is One For The Books," on February 15 at 11:59 PM Eastern.--GB
READ PART III of "Penny S. Cilpen's Birthday Is One For The Books"
Stay tuned for the last installment of "Penny S. Cilpen's Birthday Is One For The Books," on February 15 at 11:59 PM Eastern.--GB
READ PART III of "Penny S. Cilpen's Birthday Is One For The Books"
